I JUST GOT IT! Ted Cruz is Ashton Kutcher's last big practical joke before Ashton becomes the speechwriter for the 'tea party,' channeling Dr. Seuss, no doubt. At least they may make a little more sense now, to the 14 to 19 year old crowd... (couple of 'dirty words' thrown in to make them feel at home). Ah, but do they vote, Ted? (Like you would know... have you read any more of the 'Great Books' lately? Well maybe you should ask that great 'tea party' "Intellectual" who ran for VP (now what was his name, you know with the guy who was building an elevator for his cars... you know... old whatsisname). He'll probably find something for you, like maybe "James and the Giant Peach," although that one might be a bit too radical for you. "Alice in Wonderland" is nice, make you feel right at home in that big old House of Representatives where you get kinda lost and don't quite know what's going on in the outside world, where the rotten peasants of the general public are always giving you trouble, and don't fit into your idea of what things should really be like... and never fit into the numbers you guys make up to show you know what's going on.
But be careful, Teddy, did you know that if you kids do manage to shut down the government, that means no trips for you, no nice helicopter rides to see the younger kids in the Army get shot by snipers far below you, so you can come home and tell us all about "Those Terrible terrorists who say they are defending their country, when we all know they are just getting ready to fly over here on their camels and attack our homes and kill our women and children." Yep, all you brave congressmen might have to give up all your percs for a couple of days to show what big stuff you are, 'running the country' and making sure that the people on Social Security see what a big guy you are, 'heh, heh, heh,' as dear old Georgie used to say. But then you can have a big celebration, marching around and showing up to sit in your seats for a change and show how you can borrow a bit more from the Chinese and settle things with yet another weird bill or vote to make sure the rich get richer, so you get reelected for yet another term. After all, you have to 'work' a few more years to make sure you can retire on full pay and get one of those great lobbyist jobs for more money. Wouldn't want to miss that little 'House' perc. After all, Washington is a lot more fun than having to stay home with the wife and kiddies... girls are better looking there and quite available, and the food is great, 'specially when it is all paid for by the lobbyists who work for the large corporations that pay for all your extra needs and particularly for your next campaign for Congress.
Show 'em who's boss, Teddy. Show 'em that if you don't particularly like to work at a regular job and can glad hand and suck up to millionaire corporate types, you too might be able to get into a really sweet 'job' in Washington, D.C., the playground of the East. Show 'em you can make up all kinds of great stories and statistics and talk your head off about the celebrities you know, even if they are kinda minor ones... well, hell, they're big shots and make you sound big. Hey, keep it up kid, you might even run for president one day, then you might be able to appoint Ashton Kutcher to your cabinet. Let the practical jokes begin!!!
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