I keep telling my kids and all my young friends... don't get old. Well, I'm telling y'all IN SPADES tonight. I was doing as I was told, lying down with the foot up on a pillow, so what happened? The damned foot started stabbing me with pain, which it continues to do now, although it has let up a bit... I got up, as, why should I lie there and suffer, why not get up and suffer a little more... hell, I can take it... Oprah just started to tell me "YOU'RE STRONGER THAN YOU KNOW...How to tap into your true power and really make it work for you." Well, at least that's her word for the day in her HUGE and getting huger magazine "O." Jeeze, "Newsweek" is hurting for money, the ad revenue goes down and down for all the decent little mags like 'Atlantic' and 'Harpers'... and "O" is heavier every month (as is "Vogue," "Vanity Fair," etc.) and has more ads than any of them. Is this what this country has come to... a bunch of dippy women buying makeup and $500 a pair shoes, and what Oprah considers a nice little bargain of a dress for only $895. Here's an example of one of the 'advisors' pages on what YOU can buy that will make all the other ladies sit up and take notice: Versace glasses, $264, NARS lipstick $24, a cute little Smartcar for $11,990, Ralph Lauren Home 'throw' Blanket, $1,795, Marni skirt, $720, Orla Kiely case for your ipod, $298, Orla Kiely coat $699...my god, what bargains!!! Oprah, maybe you had better quit, I think I just spent my entire income for the year, and I didn't even get the iPod to put in that cheap little case!! Well, thank goodness, the Salvation Army is having its 50% off everything in the store this weekend. Not that my foot will allow me to go to the sale, but I can DREAM can't I?
Yep, getting old and being broke gets to be less and less fun when you can't put any weight on your foot. Well, you can still laugh once in awhile... I was on the phone with my friend Pat yesterday, and when she asked what I was doing, I said, "I'm just lying here with my feet in the air..." and then started laughing, as did she, at what I was saying. "Only problem is," I said, "I'm not having any fun..." and I imagine the picture going on in her head was probably the same as in mine. (OK, Whitney, if you don't like the tack this is taking, go read someone else's blog...) To continue: it gets harder and harder to be 'alone' as one gets older. Thank god I have Elvira and Anastasia and Ana, at least for a few hours, or perhaps until the governator decides to take them away from me so that he doesn't have to tax any of his wealthy friends.
Caretakers are already disappearing, and I fear that if I can simply move mine might be snatched away, too. I sure hope not, as I get the feeling that the reason the foot is biting me now is because I kept having to get up and either find things for the Elvira substitute I had today, or show her for the third or fourth time, how to work the 1-cup button on the microwave. Yes Oprap, I am stronger than I know...just hand me the cup and I'll do it myself! I made a typo on Oprah, but I kinda like it, so it will stay. Now here I sit alone, praying that Elvira comes back tomorrow...she knows where everything is, what I like to eat, how to...face it, do everything....she and Ana both.
Barry, wherever you are... dead and buried up there in Sonoma... I find myself missing you terribly. If you were here, you might be lying with your head in my lap, laughing at me and my complaining. That's how I remember you the best... fighting sleep and asking me a million questions... right now you would simply sit up, fold me in your arms and kiss me gently and so sweetly to shut me up... kind of a 'kiss and make it better' one. You were the best kisser, Barry... no, I take it back, Kirk was the best kisser, and yet he, like you, deserted me when he was having problems. The two loves of my life... my two love-at-first-sights... one at the beginning of my life, the other at the end... and how I miss them both. Of course, the first died young, but the second will probably outlive us all, up in the wilds of Or-re-gun. Funny, I had the same experience with both of them... an evening of questions back and forth... both of us talking fast to get it all in... followed by a long, long, wonderful kiss, whispers of how we loved each other, then out the door with calls of 'next time...next time..." and when 'next time' came, after what seemed forever... the flying together like magnets for a repeat of that kiss. Ah, an hello kiss can be even better than a goodbye one... and they were. So the aloneness swirls around my head as the foot quiets down and stops biting so severly. I guess I did just get it off my mind... practice breathing Peggy like Les told you to when Whitney wouldn't make her appearance in this world almost a month late... or as Nancy tells us to the breathe in the poetry before our group meeting... or as I have been told to do for meditation... can't fool me, it's all to get your mind off your pain or your problems, or your aloneness... I can do that deep breathing until the cows come home... DAMN, the pain just stopped. Wow. Maybe it does work! So I guess I had better hie me off to bed before it starts up again. Sylvia will give me her version of the 'kiss and make it better'... she'll lie on top of me and keep me warm. Hey, I'm not alone... I have a spoiled rotten Ms.Katt, Ms. Sylvia Katt stretched across my body and purring in my ear. What the hell more do I need!
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