Why, why, why do I always seem to get involved with men who seem to find it amusing to torment me... who pull me into thinking they are interesting and fun and smart, then start riding me or teasing me or somehow make me feel that I wrong or a fool or often just make me feel rotten and terrible, just when I seem to have pulled myself out of a hole, often that some other man has pushed me into. I shall be alone once again this Christmas (mainly because I cannot stand the extreme cold weather where my children will be) and had managed to somehow have cheered myself up a bit (primarily from reading the absolute crazy headlines and writing funny limericks about some of the worst), when my latest man "friend" cut me to pieces, I guess because someone had done something to him and he needed someone to take it out on, on the most foolish and silly accusation that I took seriously... until I finally realized he was just riding me to amuse himself. I'm sure he would be absolutely charmed to discover that I now have the worst headache I have had in years... I have taken 3 aspirin... if they help I'll be able to lie down and sleep, but can't lie down yet as it makes it worse, so here I sit... writing until then......

Well, I guess I should just forget about making any more men friends. Most of my female friends are dead and gone, and new ones with brains are hard to find, but I must start searching. I do hope I can find some younger women who will put up with old me, as I cannot bear any more of my friends dying off. The year that four of my best friends died almost killed me also... and drove me into a terrible depression that I am just beginning to rise from... then this guy shows up who is out to make my life miserable. Lovely. And I was doing so well......... Well..... life is hell.....