Thursday, August 25, 2011

A Piece of Shocking News

Or perhaps: The End of the World As We Know It, Before 2012

I was stuck in an MRI machine most of the afternoon, so I didn't get the news on Steve until a friend called me to tell me about it (I got home at 8 and didn't even turn on the radio). I did finally see the news at 11pm and pretty much wept through it. This is a really sad day for me, as I did love Steve Jobs. I hated the old mainframes we had in advertising... in spite of the fact that I learned a lot about them, and taught a lot of people how to use the dreadful one we had at the ad agency where I worked. But the minute I got my hands on my first Mac (a 128K in 1985) I was in heaven. I taught myself to use the Macintosh, then taught myself to use PageMaker 1.0. The Apple people had the best instructions anyone ever wrote... and illustrations. I had to work on PCs as a volunteer teacher at a senior center, and the Microsoft instructions were the worst. They didn't have the good sense to start with "Turn the computer on" showing in an illustration where to do that, then give number 2 and 3. When I reported this to the people at M/S, I was told, "Well, everyone knows that!" No, my dears, everyone doesn't know the first three steps, the engineers do. Apple always wrote for people, not for engineers... and always showed you exactly how it would LOOK, with an illustration.

The computer has been such a wonderful thing for a writer (or an artist... every artist I know has a Mac, as does every musician, anyone creative). Being able to forget whiteout and never having to retype anything is wonderful. To think that I can write a poem, then change any word anywhere in that poem, or put the last two lines up at the top and change the sense... or stick in a few lines anywhere in a story or novel... even throw in a chapter in the middle of the book! And Steve made it not only simple, but beautiful. I agree completely with something a guy being interviewed about Steve leaving said, "Doesn't bother me, I've always owned Macs, I always will. I certainly wouldn't ever want to have a PC." I have noticed that people will change from a PC to a Mac, but one rarely or never sees a switch from a Mac to a PC.

I'll always remember what Steve said to a reporter who asked him what he thought of Microsoft. "Well," he said, "they are a good company... have lots of great engineers and software specialists... great bunch of people, they hire the best they can find. Only one big thing wrong with that company... they have absolutely NO taste." How true that was/is (Jeeze...remember the talking paperclip...ugh). Steve Jobs not only had great ideas and was an expert on finding people who had great ideas and knew how to work and innovate (a friend's son was the major developer of the MacBook and a brilliant kid), but he had a designer's eye and gathered people around him who knew good design, and gave every product a distinctive, beautiful look. I wish my friend Guy Kawasaki, who worked for Steve, would go back to Apple. He is another absolutely brilliant guy... and a great idea man. Be good for the company to have him back.

I was impressed that one of the major reporters said that there were three men who were standout people of our time when it came to business brilliance: Walt Disney, Henry Ford and Steve Jobs. I never could stand the first two, who were rabid republicans, conservatives and not very nice people... but I adored Steve Jobs, and he would be the first on my list of great men of my generation... I think I will have to think hard to mention a second. That brilliant Apple ad said it best, "1984 won't be 1984 anymore!!!"

I certainly wish Steve the best... and hope he feels better soon. He is my candidate for "Man of the Century," I do not think we will see a duplicate of him for a long, long time. To bad he couldn't have been persuaded to run the country, we probably wouldn't be in the mess we are in right now if he had.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Oh, My Poor Language

I guess I was a lucky child. My mother, Jessie, was a genius and an absolutely fascinating person. Perhaps not the greatest mother in the world, (more like having an Auntie Mame) but perfect for me. She was no Barbara Billingsley, or any of the often beloved ‘mother’ types, but she was a crazy, fun, interesting person, with four degrees and a mind as sharp as Bea Lilly’s, one that could stop you in your track.

Jess loved the English language. She read and spoke Old English. We heard “The Canterbury Tales” in the original, as well as Spenser’s “Faerie Queen,” before we were in school. She also spoke perfect modern English. We, her children, were expected to do the same, so she taught us two things that I find are not being taught these days, which is most unfortunate, they are so easy to learn.

First: Why are people suddenly using nothing but “a” and forgetting the other indefinite article, “an” before a vowel? Doesn’t “a apple” hit your ear as a terrible sound? Oh, I can say “a terrific tasting apple”... but “a apple,” ye gods, that hurts my ear. Say it... “AN apple” sounds so “right!” Or try, “I’m wearing a earring.” Does that strike you as a good sound? NO. I’m wearing AN earring, it’s shaped like A star.” OK?

Second: It is SO EASY to “get” how to use “I” and “we,” but so few people know how to do it these days. Jessie taught us at a very early age, and I don’t believe I have ever misused either one. All you have to do is leave OUT the other person in your sentence, and you will be able to HEAR which one to use. Here are some examples (one a direct mistake by poor old President Eisenhower, who had misguided handlers teaching him how to speak English badly:

They taught him to say: “Thank you for all the presents you sent to Mamie and I.” Now say that without ‘Mamie’.. “Thank you for all the presents you sent to I” Doesn’t that sound silly? So, how about the correct way: “Thank you for all the presents you sent to Mamie and ME.

It is really all right to say “me,” when it is proper. You would never say, “Give it to I,” would you? You would say “George and I went to the game.” Again, say it without the OTHER person, “...I went to the game.” You know you wouldn’t say, “...me went to the game.” See how simple it is, just leave out the other and say it in your mind... you’ll get the right word. And, for god’s sake, DO NOT say “Me and George went to the game. The polite way is to always mention the other person first and you will get it. Now another: “If you had left it to George and me, it would have been done.” Say it without George and you will see it is correct: “If you had left it to ME it would have been done. (NOT, “If you had left it to I....”) There is one that very few people get right, but again, if you listen to what you are saying, you just may notice the correct usage.

What is the answer to, “Who’s there?” It is not, “It’s me,” although that has pretty much become the answer. It is, “It is I.” Think about it... “I am here,” is another way of saying it, or “Here I am.”

So, the easiest way to figure out whether to use “i” or “me” in a sentence is to just say the sentence without the other person... and you should get your answer immediately. So, if you will please excuse me, I shall stop nattering on about English usage and go and correct a few library books, written by people who somehow never learned the simplest and easiest ways to use the English language (and they didn’t learn to use English in ESL classes, so they have no excuses).

Monday, August 8, 2011

Lost Again......

So I must start over... and it was so good. But only I shall know this. Behind me 'Downton Abby' is playing, a new "Upstairs Downstairs" replaying over this summer. I believe this is the end. Rebellion, rebellion. What a lovely time for it to come... for now is the time we need another revolution in this country. A revolution against the fools in Congress... the dreadful so called 'tea party' ruled by people who have no idea why this country was founded, or by whom (oh sure, Jefferson freed the slaves) and have never read the Declaration of Independence or the Constitution, I am sure. Ah, my poor old ancestors are spinning in their graves back in New England. For this they fought and died in the revolution and every other war in our 'run-by-the-men' past. I fear we are too often 'run' by cheney types who do so love rounding up the children and sending them to be killed. Each time I read the PNAC writing I am sick that the people of this country could be so ignorant that they would vote in a patsy chosen by men who worked to ruin the country for their own power-mad schemes. Now those same people, with no idea why we are a country, or what we originally stood for, are backing these ignorant tea party people, who have no more intelligence than they do, and certainly do not know much about running a country. And so, we begin to sink into the morass, becoming more and more like the third world countries, run by greedy dictators. More and more we have two class of people: the very rich and the poor, so many now the poverty stricken, homeless and starving. I suppose my two children are among the very few left in the 'middle class' although they may be only a few paychecks from joining me in the lap of poverty. Ah, what greed has done to my blessed country. Perhaps we will all move up to Canada, to my daughter's house there and a better life. Or, perhaps they will move to the Netherlands, as I wanted to a very long time ago. A possibility, for this country has little to offer these days. England does not seem to be much better. Oh god... where to hide? Any place without the Wallmart children, cheney and bush (all the rich-white-trash bush family and friends). Oh, is there anyone who can save my once beautiful, once happy beloved country.

So here's a prayer I sent to a friend... a prayer for my poor (literally) country:

OK, god... you are supposed to be so great... how about you wipe out all of the U.S. Congress, and send us a bunch of really good angels to rewrite the rules, so that the people who are in Congress from now on are on Social Security, have worked at real jobs and are planning on going back to them... and while you are at it, make sure the people are half from minorities and a good divide between men and women. That's my atheist prayer for the day.